


Water Faucet

by livingeggplant



Series: They’re Gay and in Love [1]
Category: Lego Ninjago, The LEGO Ninjago Movie (2017)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Sex, Trauma, basically kai is sad and cole is determined to help, mentions of other ninja, mentions of parental death, trauma support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28844814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingeggplant/pseuds/livingeggplant
Summary: That water faucet never let Kai's mind rest. Always reminding him of what's wrong in his life. Where he went wrong. How he's continuing to go wrong.And that fire ninja never let Cole's mind rest. Always reminding him how far they've come. How they're handling these constant changes and struggles the best they can. How they have so far to go, but maybe it'll get easier in the future.*Read notes at the beginning for brief information*
Series: They’re Gay and in Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115603
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Water Faucet

**Author's Note:**

> Set in a Ninjago Movie Alternate Universe, Kai struggles with the grief of his parents' sudden death before his junior year in high school. Lucky for him, his boyfriend of almost 2 years is able to help, using his knowledge from losing his mother to guide him to assist Kai. The Fire Ninja works many jobs to afford his shitty apartment, sometimes having to skip school in order to work. But he does it because his sister needs a place to live (even when she spends much of her time at Skylor's).
> 
> Also, Cole's dad Lou is a dick.
> 
> Content warning for language and mentions of sex, death, and trauma.
> 
> Estimated Reading Time: About 25 minutes

The drip of the water faucet echoed in Kai's mind, slowly driving him crazy as he lay in his bed staring at the run-down wall in front of him. He so desperately wanted to get it fixed, but he couldn't afford it. He so desperately wanted to fix it, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't even bring himself to ask any of his friends. They couldn't know he was incapable of something.

_As if they don't already know. You live in a shitty apartment in a shitty part of town, working a shitty job at shitty hours and drive a shitty car. You got shitty grades at a shitty school and are shit on the football team. Shit on the basketball team too. You're also shit on the track team._

The voice in his head wouldn't shut up, it never would. Constantly talking about who knows what at who knows when hours. It just never let him rest, and even when it did a gunshot from outside would yank him back to reality. No wonder Nya spent so much time at Skylor's apartment; Skylor didn't have to be worried for her life when she walked to her car, or worried if she'd make it to work because of her car getting hijacked or stripped of its wheels. She didn't have to worry about making ends meet, or just how much money she had for food that week. She never had to worry about the next lie she'd have to tell Nya as to why she wasn't eating to cover up the fact she couldn't afford her own dinner. Skylor didn't have to lie to Nya that her job fed her and that's why she worked that much. She also didn't have to worry about a leaky faucet.

_Skylor is just a better person for Nya than you are, and that's how it is. You can't even keep your sister happy, healthy or safe. What kind of a brother are you? What kind of a friend, what kind of a person? You say you're so busy but doing what? It's 2am and you could be working right now. Could easily be working the night-shift and be able to make it to school by 8. And Wednesdays to Fridays you could work until 10am; you already have to leave at that time for the fast-food job. You can just not go to school at all those days. You could also just quit the sports and work some more. Work more, get a better apartment, save more money for Nya's schooling after she graduates. Granted a sports scholarship is the only way you'd get in, but you just weren't made for college. Or any other school. The way things are is fine, you just need more money._

Kai rolled over onto his back to stare through his skylight, which was just what he called the hole in his roof. It was beautiful and perfect during the summer, but the novelty wore off in the winter when he had to move his bed to make way for the large bucket he'd put under to collect the leaks. And then he'd wake up every 2 hours to empty it, and pray when he came home from work it wasn't spilling onto the floor. God he always hated winter. The never ending cold and rain that chilled the Fire Ninja to his core, making his internal flame falter. Small, but always alive; he had to keep it alive for his sister. For his team. Cole would always offer to fix it whenever he stayed over as he stared at it, his arm wrapped around Kai to try and protect him from the cold as much as possible - not that the brunette leaned into the contact, constantly remaining closed off. The only time Kai ever really let himself be vulnerable was when they were making love, not that that happened too often anyway. Kai was at work most nights, and Lou rarely let Cole out to see him.

_"That boy is a bad influence," Lou had said once to Cole, "He lives in the bad part of town and is always out late."_

_"He's working Dad," Cole said he responded when retelling the story to Kai once, "He lives in that part of town because that's all he can afford. His parents didn't **leave** him anything. He's on his own."_

_"And that's not our fault. You don't have to go over to his apartment all the time to see him just because his parents didn't plan accordingly."_

_"They died in a **fire** Dad! They didn't sit down and say 'Huh. I think we'll die today!' Did Mom have life insurance? A plan?" Cole replied immediately, his voice raising as he grew desperate to defend his boyfriend._

_"Don't you use her name in vain Cole. And our situation was different."_

_"How? How was it different? She died suddenly too, and then you were on your own! That's how Kai is!"_

_"It's different because we're not like them Cole. Simple as that."_

_"Simple as that? **Simple as that?** What the ever flying-fuck does that mean?" Cole screamed, shaking his head as he tossed his varsity jacket over the back of his chair, "Oh, so because they're not some first-class family Kai and Nya deserve to suffer?" he responded, dumbfounded with his father's ignorance. He could feel himself tearing up ever so slightly, shocked that anyone could see his boyfriend's grief as an inconvenience and fair rather than a tragedy, "Every day you astonish me with how my mother could have loved you."_

_"Cole Brookstone," Lou said firmly, walking up to Cole slightly, "Your mother and I had a different life than Maya and Ray. They weren't like us, and because of that Nya suffers. She lost her parents and-"_

_"Kai lost his too, Dad."_

_"It's different for her. She has potential."_

Cole had left that part of the story out to try and protect Kai, but he just didn't know that Kai was there to hear it. They had movie plans and Kai had gone to pick him up, only to hear the conversation through the door. Not that the Fire Ninja could be upset; Lou was right after all. Nya did have potential. And Kai just had a dead-end job working for minimum wage at shit hours. Cole and him could barely be called a couple because of how little time they spent together. Not that Cole ever minded; he took the small in-between class kisses (whenever Kai was at school) and the lunch-time handholding. He'd appreciate every moment he had with Kai, even when the Kai he knew in senior year wasn't the same Kai he knew freshman year. Freshman year Kai didn't have the same empty gaze at his plate at lunch like the senior-year version, nor the sore back from his overnight job at the loading dock. The Kai four years ago was energetic and loud-mouthed, always making people feel at home with him even if they never met before. That Kai always had a smile on his face and a five-dollar bill in his pocket to give someone at the vending machine. Kai four years ago never had anything to spare but still found a way to give something to this who needed it.

And then the summer before junior year hit and that Kai died alongside his parents and his childhood in that house. The new Kai was born at 9:37pm after a football game that his parents had to miss for a business meeting. The new Kai first appeared as he stood up from his seat on the bus as it returned from a late summer game and walked to the front of the stopped bus, opened the door, and exited to the side of the road in shock, his ears ringing and eyes fixated on the horizon. Cole had run out behind him first, followed by Jay from his spot with the other cheerleaders. The new Kai was born on the side of the road where he fell to his knees and let out a few dry and silent sobs before falling asleep in Cole's arms before anyone knew what had just happened.

The new Kai appeared to the team when he threw his gi at Wu before begging to be free of his powers, pleading to finally stop destroying everything he touched or loved. "Just once," he said brokenly, staring his master in the eyes, "Just once I want to create something." He, of course, couldn't be freed of his role on the team so easily and was forced to stay. Forced to stay by Wu, and forced to attend training the day of his parents' memorial by himself; not that anyone else was there to train with him, they were all at the funeral to support Nya. Because no one ever really wants to support Kai, the master of destruction and pain. So while his sister cried into the arms of his team at the near empty memorial, Kai spent the day in the company of a punching bag; there were once two, but just as usual the Fire Ninja did was he does best - turn something perfectly good into ash.

_The new Kai got to know Cole the night of the memorial as he walked into the small apartment he managed to get a few days after his parents' death. This new Kai had been present before but always limited contact, just wanting to be away from everything. The second he got a sympathy card, or went to the memorial it all became real. And none of this can be real._

_All eyes fell on him as he opened the creaky door to his new apartment, his head lowered as he quietly closed it behind him. No one dare spoke, watching as he took off his jacket and put it on the counter of his kitchen, setting his keys right next to it. He refused to make any eye contact as he passed through the group to make his way to his bedroom and once again closed the door behind him. Cole's arm around Nya gently retracted and he gave her shoulder a small squeeze as he rose from his place on the couch. He didn't dare say a word and walked down the hall to his boyfriend's room, leaving Lloyd to replace Cole to comfort Nya. Zane glanced across his place in the kitchen to Jay before at the other's, opening his mouth to speak but the Lightning Ninja just shook his head._

_"Now's not the time Zane," he said as he brought some food over to the others, setting it down before sitting on the floor next to Nya's legs._

_"When will it be?" the blonde responded, his gaze falling as he continued to cook. That was just the best way he could help ease some of the pain. Cook and comfort._

_"I don't know Zane," Nya replied amongst a few small and tired chuckles, looking at him before sitting up some more, "I don't know."_

_Kai's bedroom door opened and Cole emerged, looking around the room for his beloved. Doors were always closed around Kai, but Cole never truly minded. His little flame was naturally closed off since the beginning, but he would always be willing to open the doors; he just had to make sure none of the doors would be locked._

_"Hey babe," he called out gently, following the sound of the shower running. He peeked his head into the bathroom and saw Kai on the floor of his shower, his training clothes still on as he sat with his legs pulled to his chest, "Babe?" he asked a bit more worried, quickly making his way over and turning off the shower before getting onto the floor next to him. He moved Kai's hands from his face and made their eyes meet, the worry in Cole's deep brown eyes going straight through the amber ones as he shook his head, "What on Earth are you doing?"_

_"Trying to kill the fire," Kai responded weakly, the tears in his eyes prominent once the water stopped, "I thought if I stayed here long enough it'd go away and I could try to live a normal life for once. Not that that's possible anymore..." he tried to retract his hands but Cole's grip only tightened. The Earth Ninja moved both of Kai's wrists to be in one of his large hands, the other going up to gently cup his face. He kept his hand there until Kai leaned into the contact, his eyes shutting tight as he tried to keep himself from letting more tears fall._

_"That fire is more headstrong than you Kai... It's not doing anything unless it wants to," he tried to muster up a smile to comfort his boyfriend but all he could do was watch as the younger boy fell apart in front of him. He leaned forward to allow their foreheads to meet, feeling his own tears start to build up, "I'm going to say something you don't want to hear," he warned, his own memories of losing his mother catching up. But rather than let them hinder his actions, he let them guide him, "But I'm sorry for your loss."_

_"Please don't say that. That makes it-"_

_"Real? I know. But it is real, and it sucks. It's real Kai. They're really gone, and you're really here," he slowly moved Kai's body over so he could crawl into the shower next to him, "You need to see that this is all real, and it's all happening, and it's all not your fault. You need to lean on Nya. You need to lean on the team. You can't push us out because then something will be your fault," Cole slowly got Kai to rise to his feet, grabbing a towel from beside the shower and wrapping the wet Fire Ninja with it, "I don't say that to scare you. I say that to warn you. You aren't what you think you are, but if you let fear and guilt guide you... You will be."_

_Silence returned once more, but the once peaceful escape from reality became a prison of uncertainty for the two young men, and Kai's gaze fell to the floor and he took in Cole's words. The man before him has been through this before and his words were valuable, yet Kai couldn't help but want to close away more. But for every door he closed, every wall he put up, Cole was there to break them down. He wasn't going to let Kai slip away from him so easily, and Kai knew it. Kai knew that he wasn't going to let anything else happen to him, and that's what made the brunette finally crumble._

_He moved in to bury his face into Cole's chest as he let out sob after sob, allowing Cole to pull him closer than ever and run his fingers through his sopping wet hair. He let all of his anguish finally be freed and finally this was it, what Cole had been waiting for. Kai would let this out and begin to fully grieve and soon return to a version of his true self. But that's where Cole was wrong this time; instead he saw and comforted Kai that summer night to watch him return to his new normal immediately after. Not that he minded too much- Kai knew Cole wouldn't let him self-destruct, and so he got to be the new Kai at school and work and trainings, but could be the old Kai when Cole came over at night. It was a good solution to a bad problem, but Cole knew it wouldn't be a permanent fix. And so he was patient for when Kai could finally allow himself to heal, not matter how long it took._

And yet, through all of that, Cole waited. Cole waited for the moment freshman year Kai returned. Until then he would be at Kai's apartment at 3am when his roof caved in after Kai insisted Cole that the leak wasn't "that bad", or 7am to ignore the empty space where Kai's car used to be in order to give him a ride to school. He would be there at 11pm when he knew Kai had his break and give him his leftovers from dinner, and even at 3pm to help a reluctant brunette with his schoolwork. Through all of that, Cole waited. And he fell more and more in love.

More in love with the way Kai would power through the pain in his back to attend practice and pretend he wasn't running on 20 minutes of sleep and a coffee Cole had given him that morning. How he would fall asleep on his boyfriend's shoulder on their way back from a football game, the dinner Cole bought him sitting next to him. He would fall in love with the few times a smile made it's way onto his face and illuminated the room around him, or how he'd talk about some accomplishment of Nya's despite Cole already knowing; sometimes Kai just wanted to focus on the good in his life, even though he felt nothing good ever happened because of him.

The young brunette never saw how he'd make some sarcastic joke and the room would erupt or how fondly Nya would talk about him as he cooked dinner on one of the few nights Cole was over. Kai would never see just how much love was in Cole's eyes when they were in bed together, their eyes never meeting because that would make the vulnerability all the more real to Kai; and during sex, the Fire Ninja just needed to feel good, nothing more. He'd never see the way the team dynamic shifts for the better when he's around. But then again, Kai needs glasses, so he couldn't see on a good day.

It was that same love that drove Cole to Kai's house that night when he got a text simply saying the water faucet was too loud. He knew Kai rarely slept, but he never texted Cole at 2am because he always wanted his boyfriend to sleep, and most of the time he was. But not tonight. He was wide awake, and he finally knew why. The second the text came in he read it before jumping out of bed, grabbing a sweater to throw over his shirt and quickly putting on his slippers before sneaking out the front door. Something inside him screamed at him to go to bed with sweats and a t-shirt because he knew he would need to be able to leave in an instant.

Cole quickly and quietly emerged from his parked car and locked it, walking up the stairs to Kai's apartment while grabbing the key his boyfriend had given him. He slowly unlocked the door and called out to Kai as to not scare him, glancing across the too-small living anddining and kitchen area before him. He heard no response and closed the door behind him, fighting with the doorknob as usual before finally locking it. He set his keys on the counter and took off his sweater in one fluid motion before placing it next to the keys. He got a small glance of the soda pull-tab that adorned his keys and felt the typical skip a heartbeat as he remembered when Kai gave it to him before they started dating.

_"A gift, my dearest Brookstone," the young Fire Ninja said with an smile, bowing his head as he rose his hand up._

_"For me? Why Mr. Smith you shouldn't have," he played along, laughing quietly from across the lunch table. He put a hand to his heart and looked over to Lloyd with a shocked face, "Can you believe this guys? The lengths this man goes to as to impress his beloved."_

_"God I hate the gays," Jay whined with a slight chuckle, watching as Cole took the pull-tab from Kai's hand. The attention temporarily went to Zane as he chimed in._

_"This means they're engaged now, right?"_

_"No Zane," Nya added, glancing at her brother's slight blush with a confident grin, "Not yet."_

_"Not ever," Cole laughed, giving a small nudge to Kai, "Me? Gay? You're hysterical."_

_"Cole you say all the time how you wouldn't be caught dead dating a woman!" Lloyd opposed from across the table, earning some more laughs before their lunch-time shenanigans continued._

And indeed Cole still kept it almost four years later. Four more from now and he intended to propose with it, hoping to never have to drive 20 minutes to see his boyfriend when something was very much wrong. Someday he would be able to roll over and immediately see the face of his beloved. But until then he would just have to quietly make his way down the hall to the rundown room in the back of a more rundown apartment. He took a small glance into Nya's bedroom only to find it empty before turning his attention over to Kai's.

A chill went down the Earth Ninja's spine as he entered the room from both the cold and the empty gaze of his lover's eyes aimed directly at him, but he could tell they weren't truly focused. He made his way into the room quietly, leaning down and giving a gentle kiss on Kai's forehead and pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. He bent down next to the bed and ran his thumb over Kai's cheek while trying to slowly coax him back to reality, "Kai honey... It's Cole, your perfect and handsome boyfriend," he smiled at him warmly and placed another kiss on Kai's forehead which was the one to return him. Kai shook his head slightly and blinked as he moved away from Cole's hand instinctively, only returning to it when he recognised the figure before him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a calm whisper, looking up into Cole's eyes, "It's 2 in the morning. Is something wrong? What happened? How can I help?" his questions grew increasingly frantic, working himself up with all the possible scenarios as to why Cole was by his bedside at 2 in the morning.

"Yes, something is wrong," Cole answered, firmly putting his hands on Kai's shoulders to ground him, "What happened is that you texted me saying the water faucet was loud. That thing has been leaking for as long as you've been here. You've called it irritating, distracting, wasteful, but never loud. You also never text me at these hours, so I knew it was serious. You can help me by telling me what's wrong."

Kai hated Cole in moments like these. Sometimes Kai just simply wanted to exist and nothing more; he didn't want to deal with emotions or feelings and instead just let them happen as they do and zone out to let them run their course. But then there's Cole. Always knowing what Kai wanted when it came to intimate and vulnerable moments like these and always doing the opposite. And he was right about it; right about all of it. Kai wanted to just let the emotions run their course, but Cole knew he couldn't do it alone. Cole knew he couldn't do it silently. So here he was, his slippers by the bed as he crawled under the sheets next to his boyfriend and wrapped an arm around him. "I don't like you when you're right," was his only response, and must have been a good one to earn an infamous Cole chuckle- the one that could melt a glacier.

"So you never like me? That hurts," Cole retorted, wrapping his legs around Kai to pull him closer. Partially for Kai's sake and partially because he was the Fire Ninja and was a natural heater. It was always coldest in Kai's room but the Earth Ninja knew better than to make a comment on it; last time he did Kai's mood had been ruined for the rest of the night.

_"I'm sorry I said that," Cole apologised as he helped clean the dishes from dinner, looking at Kai sympathetically as the other man dried and put them away, "I meant no harm from it. It was intended as a joke and I'm sorry for being so insensitive."_

_"That's the issue. It was a joke. It's a joke to you, a joke to the team. Hell, it's even a joke to Nya because she has a place to escape to. But to me, this is my life," Cole wanted to respond but knew Kai needed to say this. Most importantly, Cole knew he needed to hear it, "My life is the really cold room with the roof leak. It's the hole in the floor I need to cover or else rats get in. It's the 4 locks on the door to help me wake up to defend my sister if someone wanted to break in. My life is the never-ending nightshifts and not knowing where my next meal is coming from. Will it be school? Nya's leftovers? Your leftovers? I get all the scraps because that's all I can afford. Scrap food, scrap cars, scrap apartments. The only thing that's not scrap is you and the team. I finally feel like I had the ability to choose something, rather than take whatever I can get. I feel on top of the world, and then I come home." The words echoed in Cole's mind as he processed what had just happened, shaking his head slightly and giving a small sigh._

_"I didn't know it was that bad. I mean, I did. But you know what I mean..."_

_"I do... Not the first time I've had this conversation," was Kai's only response, a small smile on his face granting Cole silent permission to speak his mind._

_"I care about you," Cole said firmly, putting dishes down and loosely drying his hands before placing them on Kai's waist, "You are more than the scraps you live off of. To me, you are perfect and stronger than anyone else on the team," he placed a small kiss on his forehead and smiled fondly, "To me, you are my beloved. And I know you'll never accept it, but I'm here to help you and stand by you. Our foundation is strong enough, but if you ever want to focus on the walls or the ceiling, I'm here. You need me at 2am? I'm here. Consider me your on-call handy man. Who also goes to school with you. And kisses you. And holds your hand. And loves you."_

_"I love you too..." Kai smiled, melting into Cole's hands and words, his grin growing as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck, "Remember the first time we said 'I love yous'? That was-"_

_"Something we need to reminisce on later. Your dishes aren't cleaning themselves. Plus I saw some leftover cake from your birthday in there, so..."_

_"As you wish, my dearest Brookstone."_

_"Thank you, Mr. Smith."_

Cole peacefully stared up at the ceiling, thankful the cold Ninjago winter wasn't giving them rain that night, slowly feeling as their two heartbeats slowly began to match one another's, a gentle sigh escaping his lips. Silence between the two filled the room before Cole spoke up, "Why did you text me?"

"Huh?”

"Why did you text me? You know, it's so out of character for you to text me this early."

"It's out of character for you to be up this early," Kai was quick to retort, his defensive comments never failing to take Cole aback. Sometimes the Fire Ninja shocked him with how quick he was, and other time shocked him how bad he was at them.

"Valid point. But I didn't come here for no reason. I want to help and know what's wrong. So please... Talk to me?" The infamous silence made a temporary return to the two lovers, allowing both of their minds to take a small break before needing to continue.

"It's all so loud," Kai said quietly as he rolled over and buried his body into Cole's arms; it was the first time the younger ninja had ever truly initiated this kind of vulnerable contact, and he hoped it wouldn't be the last. Something inside him said it wouldn't be, but only time would tell.

"The water faucet?"

"Everything. Everyone. All the time. Talking about how I did this or didn't do that. Or how I could've done this differently and been better, as if I didn't know how and where I was failing before they pointed it out. You know, the typical shit. I should be used to it by now, but it just reminds me how far I've fallen from where I used to be."

"You haven't fallen anywhere Kai. You've grown. You've become so much more responsible than you were when I first met you. Responsible, smart, caring, and should I say good-looking? Because my dear you are downright outstanding."

"Cole," Kai urged, unable to hide the ever so small chuckle that escaped his mouth, "I'm trying to be serious."

"Me too. Kai you have grown in ways you can't see yet, and possibly never will. You say you trust me, but I need you to trust me with this."

"Cole-"

"No Kai. Whatever is bouncing around in your head is irrelevant. Unnecessary. Whatever it is-"

"They said they would be there that night," Kai said firmly, lifting his cheek from Cole's chest to meet his eyes, the rhythmic beat of his boyfriend's heart having comforted him as he stared out the window before he demanded Cole's direct attention, "At that game. They said they would be there a week before, and then that morning told me they couldn't make it." Silence was the only response Cole could make, but he knew that right now that's what Kai needed, "I got mad at them and told them to never come to any of my games if they couldn't be bothered to come to this one. You remember how many touchdowns I made that game?"

"Four," Cole responded swiftly, giving his lover a small squeeze, "You looked at me after every single one. Your first full game too. I remember coach was excited to put you in. He said that the next season was yours, and that summer season we played proved it," his small smile was clear in his words even more than his face, and if the Earth Ninja didn't know better he would say that Kai was smiling back. He watched as his boyfriend's smile faded, his eyebrows furrowing as he gave Kai a reassuring squeeze.

"I wasn't even there and I still hear the fire engulfing the building. Engulfing them," he said while giving gentle squeezes to his boyfriend's shirt that was crumpled in his hands. He lowered his head back onto Cole's chest, letting the hand that came to rest in his hair stay, "Every time I use my powers on someone I can't help but feel sorry. I know they're the bad guys and if it wasn't them it's us, but I can't help but imagine if that's how Mom and Dad felt when it was happening. They were so proud of me and my powers, but in the end that's what killed them. I know it wasn't me, I know that, but the same thing that keeps me alive is what killed them and I'm just... so tired of the guilt," he said, his voice quivering near the end. Cole felt a small patch of wetness growing on his chest from Kai's tears and held him closer, squeezing his arms. The Earth Ninja knew he was one of the only things holding Kai together, and if it kept Kai from the bottle or the pack of cigarettes, or an emotional drive on the highway or something worse, he would hold him as long as necessary.

The room remained devoid of any conversation, Kai's near silent cries the only thing on Cole's mind. Maybe, just maybe, someday he could finally give Kai the break he needed. A month free of any and every responsibility, letting the Fire Ninja live for once. Letting Kai go see the movies he wanted to, or to get delivery once in a while. To let him see the world and not worry about what's yet to come. To be able to once again enjoy life and all it's simple beauties, not worrying about when it'll go wrong. Even to have a full breakfast and peaceful day at school. It was in that room that Cole made a promise. To himself. To his mother. To his boyfriend's parents. To Kai. He vowed to work hard enough to give Kai the life he needed. One where Kai didn't have to work to make ends meet, where he knew he would always go to bed full in a warm bedroom in a nice neighbourhood. One where he could be the one to be at home to greet Cole after work. One where Kai was happy, safe, and free. Free of the responsibilities and free from the trauma. Just... free.

Cole knew only a fraction of how much pain Kai was in, and wanted so desperately to try and fill some of that gap. What he actually did know about loss and grief he couldn't remember because he could barely recall his mother's voice. Cole knew the feeling of forgetting, and he knew that was the grief of death all over again; first you lose them physically, and then you lose them mentally. Cole knew that road and was prepared to give Kai whatever support was needed. But that was so far in the future, and right now Kai hadn't even gone through the anger stage of grief. The Earth Ninja knew, and he desperately wanted to try and ease the pain in any way. He wanted to someday say "My dad would like you to come to dinner for Father's Day" or that "My dad wants to help plan our wedding" but he knew that could never happen. But he could hope Lou would change; he so desperately needed him to. He needed someone at their future wedding, and Kai needed someone too. He pulled his boyfriend closer almost to try and hold him together before he spoke gently.

"I'm sorry I can never give you another parent." Cole knew they weren't alone. He knew there was Koko and Ed and Edna would do anything for any of the team in an instant. But no matter how hard Cole wanted and hoped, found family just wasn't the same to Kai. And that was okay.

"I'm sorry too," the Fire Ninja responded weakly, slightly burying his face closer to Cole's chest. Almost as if he could fill his own emptiness with the love of another, but he knew. He knew the emptiness could only be filled with time.

And there the two of them lay. In the darkness of Kai's cold bedroom, the moon shining bright in the sky yet not granting the two boys any of it's light, listening to the drip of the water faucet.


End file.
